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THREATENING VISIBILITY

by EMASCULATOR

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1.
cycles of abuse purged from my body infected with shame wrapped in every nerve believing my truth and owning my pain years of abuse are caught in the family silence seems normal but denial breeds insanity and i'm so done with this rupture my shell shocked vision these endless spirals these hopeless feelings grief is flooding in waves it's cleansing my blood exposing my shame crushed into fragments the self is destroyed and shaped into trinkets discarded like toys the fruit of dysfunction is children are enslaved made to feel worthless unless they can please
2.
castration with a six inch heel now you know just how it feels your male fantasies make me sick you got a twisted sense of entitlement sexually charged by control and fear when you put me down it becomes so clear when you put me down I see your fear when you put me down i'll cut you to shreds i'll castrate you with a six inch heel i'll crush your pride with my six inch heel oh yeah i'll break that grin and watch you squeal it gets old quick putting up with your sexist bullshit thinking I should play pretty and stupid so you can feel better about your hateful existence so fuck your cat calls fuck your fetishizing
3.
fuck this culture which violently imposes a binary mind my form was a canvas for their propaganda medical fascism that sustains oppression they examined my body claimed it was female but nobody asked me if that's how I felt bred to feel splintered from inner experience bred to feel worthless without their permission a dysphoric discomfort gnawing my bones the voice inside tells me they're totally wrong bred to feel splintered bred to feel worthless too bad ive chosen relentless defiance bred to feel splintered bred to feel worthless too bad ive chosen relentless defiance examined my body claimed it was female but nobody asked me if that's how I felt bred to feel splintered bred to feel worthless too bad ive chosen relentless defiance examined my body but nobody asked me examined my body but nobody asked me nobody asked me nobody asked me
4.
you use rationality as a tool of domination to enslave the body and destroy intuition fuck your misogyny fuck your misogyny fuck your misogyny fuck your misogyny you're afraid oh you're afraid of buried feelings shit unexplained thousands of witches devoured in pyres fueled by the terror of your irrational desires the power still remains tie down the body burn it to a crisp suffocate its knowledge call it bullshit this prison of logic feigns to be neutral but we know its waging endless denial fuck your misogyny fuck your misogyny liberate the body
5.
Shame Spiral 01:57
my soul is a corpse dead, dead, dead numbed with pills dead, dead, dead drowning in spirits numb, numb, numb no more spirals shame, shame, shame move beyond survival live, live, live visions of thriving thrive, thrive, thrive
6.
explanations are useless my gender's... not your fucking business see I don't care if you understand it's not my problem if it makes any sense just two genders is that a fact yeah I doubt it cause I trust myself endless doubting relentless questions you second guessing my experience is so atrocious and i'm just so sick and tired of your shit if you mansplain again I might flip I don't care I can't take it anymore, this shit's real I won't prove it and ya you heard it

credits

released June 15, 2015

RECORDED, MIXED & MASTERED BY GRADY AT
MICROPHONIC MELTDOWN JUNE 2015

WORDS BY SYLYS
NOTES BY BILē
NOISE BY SAVI
SKINZ BY GARY

ART BY BILē
DESIGN BY BILē & GARY

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EMASCULATOR Portland, Oregon

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